Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Sacred Sword Sorcerer

One of the big values I see in keeping a collection of sacred swords is the psychological effect of single mindedness. It's both satisfying ... and deadly.

You see that sharp point at the end of your sword -- and keep in mind it's called a sacred sword -- and it helps train your thoughts on one thing.

I used to do it with knives when playing Mumblety-peg. You may recall you put the tip of the knife on your finger, then flip it off to hit the ground and stick it. But I'd get razzed by the other kids when I'd focus on that tip touching my finger, because I'd go into a deep trance and strange things would happen, depending on what I was thinking.

My mind isn't real clear on all the details, but one time I got in trouble inside over some minor thing, then we were out to recess playing Mumblety-peg, and next thing I knew I went into one of these trances and the school burnt down. They gave me a stern talking to and from then on I restricted my revenge to more harmless pranks, like making the teacher's desk hover at the ceiling.

As an adult, though, I've kept it real low key. I tend to win Thanksgiving turkeys at the grocery store, that kind of thing. And an occasional car wash without quarters if there's no attendant on duty.

But now -- oooohhh -- with the Republicans threatening to kill Grandma -- oooohhh -- this sword is so sharp, and feel that point! This cutlass has to be 20 pounds, and it must be there's something superhuman about my finger, that it would not be pierced through. Ooohhh, my thoughts are being trained. This trance stuff is something they shouldn't mess with. If only they had a lick of sense, which of course they don't.

[Later]: Now I'm pointing it to the West! Now I'm pointing it to the South! Now I'm pointing it to the East!

"Scurrilous knaves, in the name of this sacred sword, be cursed!"

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